Dumb Confessions
by anxiouscheese
Summary: Kirk had confessed his fancy for McCoy. The young doctor was alright with it, considering the man was drunk at the time of the confession, but for some odd reason, he couldn't stand the thought of not knowing exactly why Kirk had such a fancy for him. He was only a doctor and had no interest in other men, including the captain.
It had been a late night on the _Enterprise,_ and Kirk had had too much to drink while with McCoy in the mess. He sat with his legs outstretched on a comfortable seat in the corner of the room, and his hands wrapped around his eighth drink. It was worrying McCoy, but he refused to do anything to Jim, because if he did, he would suffer the consequences. He just sat while Jim conversed with himself on how much he admittingly "hated it here in the _Enterprise_ ," and "Wished he was back in Iowa."

Although McCoy didn't exactly believe the words coming out of the captain's mouth, he did somewhat assume he was being serious.  
"A man's true character does comes out when he's drunk." Leonard said quietly to himself while he took the last sip of his third shot of scotch, letting it tinge his throat once more. He set the glass down and moved it away from him and set his elbows on the table. McCoy rested his face in his hands and rubbed it roughly while sighing audibly.

"H-hey…!" Jim said loudly. McCoy looked around before answering, but there wasn't anyone in the mess, let alone in the halls, at O' two hundred hours (02:00 AM). He looked back to the mess that was James Tiberius Kirk, and answered.

"Yes, Jim?" McCoy said with an exasperated tone of voice. He set his hands on the table and began to tap lightly at it.

"Did y-you know that I had a huge crush on you...? And Spock too…. Oh man, that pointy eared bastard has a great body…." He dragged out huge and let out a small giggle, dropping the, fortunately, plastic cup on the floor. McCoy laughed.

"Oh really now?" he asked, his voice tinged with sarcasm, but he was honestly quite interested in how Jim thought of him. For his ego, mostly.

The drunk captain giggled more, and attempted to get up. He stumbled, but somehow succeeded in fully getting up and slowly but surely getting to the young doctor. He attempted to sit on the table, but almost fell in the process. McCoy grabbed him before anything drastic happened, and set Jim on the seat next to him.

"So, Captain, explain the reasons to why you fancy me?"

Kirk's eyes went wide, and he moved backward somewhat and let out a loud gasp.

"How did you… you know I liked you?"

"Dammit, Jim. You just told me."

"O-oh….! Th-that's right! I uh… I told you… just now…. Did I r-really?" the intoxicated captain's eyes grew wider, and his hand moved to McCoy's knee. His eyes were large and doe-like. McCoy never really had a thing for men. He had to admit that Kirk was a fine looking man, but he never thought of them in a romantic light.

"Yes, Jim. You just now told me you had a 'huge crush on me.'" McCoy said in a mocking tone. Kirk gave a face of fake offensiveness, and let out another dramatic gasp. He slapped the young doctor's knee.

"D-doctor…! How dare you make f-fun of me!" said Kirk way louder than expected. His face was filled with dramatic disgust and he tried to get out of his seat, but he practically flopped out. McCoy couldn't help but let a bubble of laughter escape his mouth at the captain's foolishness, and helped him back up on the chair.

"Oh, doctor…! How I love those beautiful eyes and that nice floppy hair you has…" he hiccupped loudly and somehow gently laid his head on the table and closed his eyes.

"You're so pretty…. McCoy… god do I wanna fuck you…."

McCoy blushed a little bit at the sudden want to have… a sexual encounter. Not with a drunk man like this though. Plus the thought of having sex with another man grossed McCoy out more than it really should of.

"Uh, thanks I guess. For the compliment." He let out another small chuckle to himself and gently hit the captain's shoulder.

"I think I should take you back to your quarters. You were supposed to meet up with Spock for a late night game of chess…. But you obviously forgot."

Kirk didn't listen, as he was already dead asleep on the table, snoring softly, his mouth open, slowly drooling. The doctor let out a sigh and shook the captain roughly. It was extremely rare for Kirk to forget his daily chess game with his number one companion Spock. It was a bit of a shock to McCoy when the words came out of his mouth.

"Jim, come on, get up. We need to get back. I have a feel-"

The whistle of the communicator panel went off, and McCoy was dead sure it would be Spock worrying about the drunk man that was currently in the doctor's arms.

"Commander Spock here… Kirk, where are you? You were supposed to be here at o' twenty four hundred hours…"

 _I knew it._

"Doctor McCoy here, Spock. Um… Kirk is in a heavily drunken state at the moment. He was only supposed to be with me for a few minutes for a drink but he got too immersed in the conversation and had a few too many… I'll bring him up to his quarters immediately. You might wanna take care of him if you don't mind. Just make sure he gets into bed safely and doesn't do anything stupid."

"H…Hey there yo-you sexy b…be-"McCoy slapped his hand on the captain's mouth before he said anything else, and let out a short laugh.

"Ignore him, Commander. He's pretty much drunk out of his damn mind."

"Oh… Alright, doctor. I shall stay up here and wait on the both of you. Be careful, do not drop him. Spock out." The connection severed and the two were left alone in silence once again. There was muffled mumbling coming from McCoy's hand, and he let go.

"Doctor… I uh… I don't feel so good…"

 _Oh for fuck's sake please not on the outfit. This is my last clean one…_

McCoy sit him back on the chair and quickly grabbed a trashcan and hauled it to the captain. He looked away as Jim expelled his fluids. He may be a doctor, but the sight of someone vomiting, or even thinking about it, made him want to be sick himself. He let out a sigh and looked back.

"You done?" the young doctor asked. Kirk looked back up at the McCoy, wiping his mouth with the collar of his shirt. McCoy almost gagged when he did this, but was able to suppress it.

"Y..yeah I thin- oH NOPE." McCoy quickly looked away again and tuned out the noises.

"Mc…McCoy, I think I'm done now." He looked back up at him, only to see the back of the doctor's head. He wiped his mouth once more with his shirt collar. He turned his head back around and met Kirk's gaze.

"You ready to go, you drunken mess?" McCoy asked, stifling a laugh. Kirk slowly nodded and motioned him to help him up.

They had gotten to the middle of the hallway when, once again, the poor captain had to expel more fluids. Luckily, McCoy had brought a small bag along with them incase this were to happen. McCoy, yet again, stopped and looked away until the situation was over, and continued to heave the captain back to his quarters.

They had gotten to the door to the captain's quarters, and they walked in. Spock had been sitting on the edge of Kirk's bed, watching a show that was playing on kirk's large flat screen TV they had just installed last week.

"Fascinating," Spock mumbled to himself before turning to the young doctor and the captain.

"Here's your prince in shining armor," McCoy mumbled, but still audible to Spock. He dropped him on the bed beside Spock and laid the captain down gently.

"He's been throwing up almost the entire trip up here. Keep a trashcan by the head of the bed."

Spock nodded.

"Goodnight, sir. I'll see you in the morning." And with wave of a hand bidding Spock goodbye, the automatic doors swished open and closed and all that you could hear were the groans from Kirk after that point.

There was a long silence, before it was broke with Kirk rolling over and throwing up in the trashcan next to the bed. Spock actually let out a sigh.

"God what's gotten into me?" Kirk groaned, rolling to his back and staring up at the ceiling of his quarters. Spock just sat and looked at him, as if he was trying to gather words to say, but couldn't seem to get them out of his mouth. It's quite rare for a Vulcan to have these issues, but given that he's also half human, he has the ability to be speechless.

"Why you lookin' at me like that…?" Kirk asked. He gagged a bit, but was able to suppress it.

"I honestly have no words, Captain. Please forgive me. I'm just looking at you. Would you like me to go grab you a towel? Start up a warm bath for you, Jim?"

This was the first time in a while that Spock had been this caring, which was a bit weird. He was only drunk. Last time he was like this, it was after a terrible encounter with the Kilingons. They had been only innocently searching for something and those bastards popped up out of nowhere. Kirk had broken his arm and his nose had practically been shattered.

Kirk was surprised by his calmness after missing a game of three dimensional chess! He waved Spock off and let out a weak, half-hearted laugh.

"Th…thanks Spock…. I think I'm g… oh god-" He paused for a second, his face becoming a light shade of pale, but then he relaxed and looked at the floor.

"Actually…. I think I'll take the bath… Thanks man…"


End file.
